What is Social Health and Why it Shouldn’t be the Same for Everyone

Often, we avoid socializing because of the natural inhibition that arises from not knowing or predicting an outcome (such as a response). Instead, we opt not to explore and stay in a comfortable environment. This impulse for boundary control can partly be explained by a propensity to interpret negative emotions much more strongly than positive ones. And even if we break the barrier between solitude to socializing, we often come across as less capable of communicating or progressing the conversation. The reasons associated with this are expansive, but to a large extent, it stems from others’ perceptions of us contrasted by how we perceive ourselves. And often, we don’t know what identity or series of expressions is most suitable for a situation. In other words, we have not acquired the skill to effortlessly mold into an environment without interpreting our actions as fake or stupid. And the way to develop those skills is to (1) convince ourselves that we have them, (2) have them, (3) increase our confidence, (4) socialize, or (5) test the boundaries of what is permissible (in this way, we become familiar with being uncomfortable).

I added this short introductory piece as a launching point for today's topic. We often talk about social health without consideration of expanding our capacity to socialize effortlessly. It is only practical to talk about social health by first recognizing that part of the social health process is realizing our limitations and being willing to confront them openly.

What is Social Health

The best definition of social health I came across was “building healthy, nurturing, and supportive relationships as well as fostering a genuine connection with those around you” (UNO). And often, many other definitions include words like measured or measuring relationships.

The problem with these and many other definitions is that although they are pointing at how social health is observed or manifests, they do not help progress understanding of how to acquire social health. Moreover, improving social health is not as universal as many would have you believe.

By that, I mean what social health means for me is not the same for you. Are extroverts healthier than introverts? Is my lack of expanding my social network synonymous with a lack of social health? Or, is it also conceivable that some people find more pleasure alone or that I may become more susceptible to being open by expanding my internal space? Is openness the door to meaningful social health?

To answer this question, we must first define what openness is. And for the sake of progressing this article, we will define conscious openness. Conscious openness is the ability to recognize the limitations of one's internal boundaries and expand them to touch the narratives of the people around us. In other words, conscious openness is an internal process by which we actively try to understand ourselves relative to others. In this way, are social health may increase because our relatability has increased.

How Social Health is Expressed Differently in People

Consider two different people: one mainly finds pleasure and meaning when they are alone, and the other is the opposite. Can we reasonably conclude that both people need to have the same amount of social bonding? Or is it possible that they can have an unequal amount of social interaction while having an equal amount of social health? 

Perhaps it is. And it is because an introvert's social cup may be smaller and drain slower than an extrovert's social cup, meaning an introvert may need less socializing relative to an extrovert to be fulfilled. Or it is also tenable that those inclined towards introversion may find social fulfillment in small social groups or in more inconspicuous ways.

Furthermore, someone who is reserved and highly conscientious may find that their more meaningful time is spent alone. And that is not to say that they don’t enjoy the company of others or find meaning around others, but rather too much of this takes away from what matters most. And if what matters most is writing, introspection, self-improvement, etc., impeding this by socializing more than you should could cause feelings of fruitlessness and even self-loathing.

That is to say, too much socializing in some people can make them worse off. This is why finding balance and genuinely wanting to socialize with others is important. And if you’re the type of person who rarely socializes or struggles to have a meaningful relationship with anyone, you might benefit more from making an attempt.

Conclusion

Often, we are told to get out there, socialize, bond with others, and make new friends: to consider other viewpoints, develop social skills, and learn how to utilize those social skills to help others. However, this idea of sociability without expansion of relatability can be dangerous. For one, it can cause a division between you and others. Secondly, although sociability can be a meaningful experience, it does not accrue benefits linearly. Instead, too much of anything (especially social bonding) will inevitably lead to a drought of some other quality. And thirdly, continuously socializing for the wrong reasons may foster an unhealthy relationship between you and society. 

That said, socializing and, more importantly, finding meaningful relationships can be powerful. To have someone who challenges and supports you. To have someone who cares and will let you know when you’re wrong. To have someone around, not only because of what they offer. To have someone around whom you truly wish the best for. All these things are valuable and will naturally increase your capacity and willingness to socialize just by being around them. But even despite having such a companion, we need time alone to examine our beliefs, state of mind, and why we believe the things we do. Now ask yourself this: Do you want to improve your social health? If so, why? And, if the reasons are sufficient for you, why haven’t you started?

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